What A Slacker!

I just realized I never posted an update to our own stinkin' website! Sheesh!

Okay, the important numbers: we started 105 cars. We finished 29th overall! The car ran like crap on Saturday but had a ton of grip. We kept our nose clean & only got hit by other folks twice.

Sunday, the weather

cooled by some 15 degrees...and it rained. Bad news for our tires which we sourced from guys who threw them away after using them on Legends Cars. It was like driving on ice! That said, the cooler weather meant our engine ran GREAT! But...our starter gave out, forcing us to push start the car after every pit stop.

See a trend here? Good, bad, good, bad...and repeat.

We got hit multiple times, causing a lot of body damage to the car...although it's mechanically as bad as it ever was.

So now, after 3 races in the 24 Hours of Lemons series, what's next for our team? We're considering testing the waters with the guys at the ChumpCar World Series. They're running a 14 hour endurance race at Charlotte Motor Speedway (yes, including the NASCAR oval!). It's the day before Easter...and we just may try & make it happen. Stay tuned!

Well...

Here's hoping this thing works.

Recall the previous post about the d!c&ed up caliper? Yeah. The replacement we ordered had the SAME PROBLEM (bad threads in the fluid inlet). So, we ordered a THIRD caliper...and it worked. Whew. Got everything bled & things seem alright. I may do one final bleed before we race because it seems to still be a bit soft on the pedal, but it's not too bad.

The car is loaded on the rig, essentially ready to go when I get back from New Jersey Motorsports Park on Friday.

In the meantime, the rest of the team is getting prepped for the race. Todd & Ginny are headed here from MI. Zack raced his Spec Miata at CMP last weekend (and only wrecked a little!). Jim is in dire need of cash so we hear he's considering donating plasma...or any other bodily fluids someone will pay for.

So... Barring any big changes, we'll see you Friday at Carolina Motorsports Park for our third attempt at the 24 Hours of Lemons!

Holy Crap, The Car's Not Ready!

With less than 2 weeks before the race, I'm still scrambling to get the car together. If it's not one thing, it's another...

Last note talked about the snapped manifold stud. Well, last night I went to bleed the brakes...I mean, that's easy, right? Er, no. Got the rears done, went to the right front and...SNAP! Broke off the bleeder valve which had apparently welded itself to the inside of the caliper. We fought & fought with it, drilling carefully & trying to use an EZ Out... But ultimately, the thing is pretty d!ck3d up. So, I've got a rebuilt caliper on order. Should be in by this afternoon so I can install it tonight. Here's hoping everything comes correctly because I'm down to one final night of work before the race: my work travel schedule is crazy. I fly to PA Wednesday, return Sunday afternoon. Home Sunday evening to load up the car & trailer. Monday morning back on a plane to New Jersey, then fly home Friday morning...just to haul @$$ home, get the rig & get down to Kershaw for the race. Whoof!

I did get the wheels & tires mounted & balanced last night, so let's hope I'm just about wrapped up for this mess.

Oh, one last bummer: Stephanie had to cancel on us last minute for a job up in Michigan. That gave Jim Ballard (a Hammer's Hero from the last 2 races) a chance to slot in. That's great; he'll bring Lemons experience & knowledge of the car with him. A bonus since Todd & Zack have yet to even see the car in person!

Getting Closer...

Spent the weekend getting the car prepped for the race: changed the oil, filter & trans/diff lube. Wrapped up the front brakes & decided it's worth the $13.49 to put new shoes on the rear so I got them ordered (they'll be in today).

I attempted to replace a blown out exhaust flange gasket (between the downpipe & manifold)...and promptly snapped it off. $#!t. I can't reach the backside to drill it out so in the spirit of Lemons, I'm likely to grab a tube of Permatex & try to seal it up best I can.

Oh, and I mounted the TraqMate data system...which is worth more than the car itself.

Up next, get the tires mounted & balanced & load it up!

6 Weeks & Counting...

...until we race again!

"I'm feeling good" says Hammer's Heroes team principal John "Hammer" fresh off a weekend in his Spec Miata at Road Atlanta.

The rest of the team is gearing up too; Zack Skolnick & Todd Chapman are both going to be at New Jersey Motorsports Park this coming weekend...and as much as they need the practice, neither will be behind the wheel of anything more virile than a golf cart. Zack is spending the Summer with Ferrari North America & Todd is a part time crew member for ARCA's Eddie Sharp Racing.

Stephanie Reaves is fresh from a run at VIR and a corporate event in Atlanta where she got to rub elbows with singer Usher.

Hammer is going hunting for used tires off Legends cars this week; that's what the team uses on the BMW's stock 13" wheels. Why? They're cheap & last a long time! Brakes just came in too; a brake job is due up in the next couple weeks.

Think this whole mess sounds wild? It is! Wanna be part of it? Of course you do! Drop a line to Crew AT HammersHeroes.com & come to the track in September... and you too can be one of Hammer's Heroes!

Chchchanges....

Got a good news / bad news note today.

• The bad news: Wayne Shaver had to back out of the team...the economy is tight & it is what it is.
• The good news: Stephanie Reaves is going to replace him. Love you Wayne, but she's better on so many levels...she 1) has money, 2) is a chick...sure to bring us notoriety! and 3) has money.

We had our first team conference call tonight & discussed the couple of things we need to do to prep the car: brake rotors & pads are ordered. We're going to wire up an old Miata radiator fan as a spare since we had cooling issues in the last race. We're also trying to figure out the fuel system mess...we'll hope a replacement seal on the fuel cap fixes our vacuum issue there. Hey, we've seen dumber things fix stuff!

Gearing Up To Grind Gears!

They're in... After a year out of competition, Hammer's Heroes are back in the mix at the 24 Hours of Lemons, the endurance race for $500 cars.

A new cast of characters are making the team this time around:

• The Heroes are still led by team principal John "Hammer" Palazzolo. "I've said it before, Lemons is the most fun I've ever had in a racecar. To have these guys join me at the track is going to be huge fun!"
• The rest of the team includes Wayne Shaver who worked with Hammer at both Xtreme Measures (a teen driving school) and Chrysler's SRT Track Experience.
• Zack Skolnik is an up & coming shoe who's spending his summer in New Jersey under the wing of Ferrari North America.
• The novice member of the team is an old friend & crew member for Eddie Sharp Racing's ARCA stock car team; Todd Chapman. Todd has never raced anything in his life...this is his first opportunity to pull on fireproof skivvies & live his dreams.

And that's what Hammer's Heroes are all about; living the dream. Want to be part of the Heroes? Drop a line to Crew@HammersHeroes.com. Race weekend is September 24-26 at Carolina Motorsports Park in Kershaw, SC. See you there!

Let's Try This Again!

Hammer's Heroes have been jonesing for a motorsport fix...so, instead of our normal routine of flopping our tail ends on the couch with a remote in one hand, a Yeungling Light in the other... We've decided to blow the mothballs off the team's "racecar" and enter the Fall version of the 24 Hours of Lemons...the endurance race for $500 cars!

The plan is to field a team of 4 drivers, headed up by team principal John "Hammer." "I'm totally jazzed to run Lemons again" said Hammer, smiling a wicked smile. "We've got a car that really should do well...once we figure out the fuel system!

Want to be part of this adventure? Contact Hammer now: John at HammersHeroes dot com.

Hammer's Heroes Need A Hero...

...actually, we need warm bodies with legal drivers' licenses and a few bucks to spend on a great weekend of racing.

Unfortunately, hard times have eaten into everyone's racing budget...even racing this cheap. Short story: Hammer's Heroes have had to withdraw from the 24 Hours of Lemons this coming May.

There's another event in the fall we'll work towards. In the meantime, the car is available to rent and the team is focusing on shakedown runs of a brand new Spec Miata.

It's Official: We're Masochists.

...and we're IN for Lemons South Spring at Carolina Motorsports Park!

The Hammer's Heroes BMW needs help, though. And that means turning wrenches. Before we can run another weekend long endurance race, we need to do a brake job with pads, rotors & fluid. We need tires. We have to throw another spitball at the fuel system mess.

But, we're going for it.

The team members are still being determined...if you have interest in running with us, drop a line to LooseNut@HammersHeroes.com.

How do you say "Jackass" in German?

You'd think we'd learned, but... Nooooo, we've not! Thank goodness, huh?! Hammer's Heroes is back for another exciting season of missed opportunity & unintentional disaster on the racetrack. We've done exactly NOTHING to our 1983 BMW 320i racecar...although it needs some attention (brakes, MORE fuel system work and a fresh stash of used tires from someone's (yours?) Legends Car).

The date for the event is May 21-23, 2010 at Carolina Motorsports Park. We've applied & hope to make our not-so-glorious return to competition then.

Stay tuned for updates!

The official link to the event is here: Lemons South Spring 2010

LeMons CHAMPIONS! Well, sorta...

Dateline, Mooresville NC...

It's no secret that Bayerische Motoren Werke AG makes fantastic vehicles. That's one of the reasons we chose to race a BMW in the 24 Hours Of LeMons. They key to success in the endurance race for $500 cars is a good solid & reliable runner. While most teams decide to run the "E30" chassis (cars from '84-'89), or the old 2002 model from the early-mid 70's...we decided to jump in with a 1983 320i, chassis designation E21. In typical LeMons fashion, the E21 is the most unloved of the 3 series cars from BMW so what better car for us to attempt to endurance race?!

While Hammer's Heroes haven't broken the Top 10 just yet, the marque's consistency has earned it the LeMons' Constructor's Championship for 2009!

Congratulations BMW for an award most companies would run from!

Here's the official piece from LeMons' HQ...

2009 CONSTRUCTOR CHAMPION: BMW

Much to the chagrin of the judges, the relentless stream of LeMons E30s actually paid off in the end. Though plenty of Bimmers performed embarrassingly badly in '09 LeMons events, enough scored top-ten finishes to snatch the crown from 2008 champ Mazda. OK, E30 dudes, you've proved your point--now go get a Fiat and prove you can do it the hard way.

Hammer's Heroes...an interstate debacle? Perhaps!

We've had some success so far, running two 24 Hours Of Lemons events at South Carolina's Carolina Motorsports Park. Then, today I got the 2010 schedule. THREE times next year at CMP, but then I saw it...

October 9th & 10th, 2010 the Lemons comes to Gingerman Raceway in South Haven, MI...MY HOME TRACK!

It would be a fair amount of work to make it happen, but towing back "home" to race with some friends there could be an amazingly fun experience! It wouldn't be cheap. It would be a real pain in the arse. But, damn...what a great adventure!

Keep your fingers crossed & perhaps it'll happen!


LeMONS 2010 EVENTS

23-24 January: Auction-Weekend Gavel-Trap GP (Phoenix AZ)
Firebird International Raceway, Chandler AZ
"For every auction, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

6-7 February: Southern Discomfort (Charlotte NC)
Carolina Motorsports Park, Kershaw SC
"Who says it never snows in South Carolina?"

20-21 February: Gator-O-Rama (Houston TX)
MSR Houston, Angleton TX
"Slide into the pond. We dare you."

6-7 March: Sears Pointless (San Francisco CA)
Infineon Raceway, Sonoma CA
"Come crash where the stars crash."

7 March: Concours d'LeMons Crapfest & Track Tour (San Francisco CA)
Infineon Raceway, Sonoma CA
"Overlooking the lovely, peaceful cluster-F of LeMons' Infineon race."

17-18 April: American Irony (Detroit MI)
Gingerman Raceway, South Haven MI
"The chickens have come home to rust."

1-2 May: Cain't Git Bayou (New Orleans LA)
The Circuit at Grand Bayou, Belle Rose LA
"Get your dash signed by Jürgen Shrimp, lovable mascot of the Louisiana Region Mercedes-Benz Dealers."

8-9 May: Goin' For Broken 24-Hour (Reno NV)
Reno-Fernley Raceway, Fernley NV
"A.K.A '24 Hours of Snake Eyes.'"

29-30 May: LeMons South Spring (Charlotte NC)
Carolina Motorsports Park, Kershaw SC
"Still-crazy after all these years."

5-6 June: North Dallas Hooptie (Dallas TX)
Eagle's Canyon Raceway, Decatur TX
"Bringing bad driving, terrible cars, and arbitrary rule enforcement to the northern half of Texas."

19-20 June: Capitol Offense (Washington DC)
Summit Point Motorsports Park, Summit Point WV
"From the fine folks who brought you the TARP."

10-11 July: The B.F.E. GP (Denver CO)
High Plains Raceway, Deer Trail CO
"One mile high and 60 miles from anything."

24-25 July: LeMons New England (Providence RI)
Stafford Motor Speedway, Stafford Springs CT
"Official home of the Cranky Yankee."

7-8 August: LeMons Arse-Sweat-Apalooza (San Francisco CA)
Thunderhill Raceway Park, Willows CA
"And you thought winter was bad here."

14 August: Concours d'LeMons (Monterey CA)
Toro Park, Monterey CA
"Where the elite meet to greet cars that excrete."

28-29 August: Mutually Assured Destruction of Omaha (Omaha NE)
Mid-America Motorplex, Pacific Junction IA
"Endurance racing on the world-famous Ømahanebråskarring."

11-12 September: Yee-Haw, It's LeMons Texas (Houston TX)
MSR Houston, Angleton TX
"Watch the crotch-rot and athletes-foot race for your kneecaps."

25-26 September: LeMons South Fall (Charlotte NC)
Carolina Motorsports Park, Kershaw SC
"Just the tell the missus you're 'hiking the Appalachian Trail.'"

9-10 October: Detroit Bull Oil Grand Prix (Detroit MI)
Gingerman Raceway, South Haven MI
"This close, and Lutz still won't show up."

23-24 October: Rod Blagojevich Never-Say-Die 500 (Chicago IL)
Autobahn Country Club, Joliet IL
"From the city where 'Whacker' has multiple meanings."

20-21 November: Laissez les Crapheaps Roulez (New Orleans LA)
The Circuit at Grand Bayou, Belle Rose LA
"By 'let the crapheaps roll,' we didn't mean 'onto their roofs.'"

4-5 December: LeMons Arse-Freeze-Apalooza (Los Angeles CA)
Buttonwillow Raceway Park, Buttonwillow CA
"Lots of Celebrities, but mostly the upper-case kind."

30-31 December: 24 Horas de Cuba del Norte (Miami FL)
Palm Beach International Raceway, Jupiter FL
"Presented by Havana-Negila, the original kosher-for-Passover rum."

Hammer's Heroes taste the Lemons!

Mooresville, NC
9/15/09
John “Hammer” Palazzolo
John@JohnHammer.org
www.HammersHeroes.com

A 27 year old German car. 24 Hours of racetrack adventures. 114 teams all gunning for one goal. 4 men joined together to have a run at it…

For the second time in six months, Hammer’s Heroes took on Carolina Motorsports Park in Kershaw, SC for the 24 Hours Of Lemons, the endurance race for $500 cars. The idea is to purchase & prepare a car while spending no more than $500 on the budget (outside of safety equipment). The Heroes pulled it off in dynamic fashion!

“We had only spent $47 in parts in the “off season” to get our BMW ready for this race” said John Hammer, the team principal. “Our expectations were higher than the Spring race when we ran 49th of 94 cars.” In the end, the Fall edition of Lemons turned out to be strong for the team; 55th overall out of 114 teams and 26th of 65 in their class. Hammer says “We had more fuel system issues which really frustrated us, forcing fuel stops every 30 minutes during the first 8 hours. We lost a lot of time doing that.” There was a black flag penalty against driver Andrew Anderson Sunday morning as well…to get out of the penalty box, the team had to find a penny, nickel, dime & quarter from 1983, the year of their BMW’s manufacture…the team lost 30 minutes begging for spare change among the crowd!

Ultimately, the team pulled together to nurse the ailing BMW to the finish; the brakes had warped, the tires were flat spotted, the engine was leaking oil and the temp gauge was pegged… “Taking the checkered flag under our own power was a HUGE accomplishment and I’m proud of ALL the Heroes; Andrew Anderson, Jim Ballard and Ed Calcote. I’d also like to thank Dr Bob Calcote of SmileScience.org for his support of our team, MSMAutos.com for the access to spare parts, Wickens Auto Repair for the great alignment & Safety Solutions for the Hutchens Hybrid that kept my head & neck safe. Also, to our families & friends who put up with us as we built the car & spent way too many hours in the garage making it run!”

Up next? You can bet the Heroes will be back for another Lemons race at a track near you! Follow the action online at www.HammersHeroes.com.

Lemons South Fall...Day 1 is complete...

...and Hammer's Heroes are still alive & kicking. But, not without issues. Fuel system troubles, metal on metal contact, brakes going soft, Ed's earpieces kept coming unplugged...

And at the end of day 1, we're in 39th position. Our team name is highlighted on the sheet to "See Timing & Scoring"...that can't be good. We'll check it out in the morning & see what's up.

I'm sending updates on my Twitter page; check it out for occasional updates: www.Twitter.com/JohnHammer

See you in the morning!

Well, Here We Go!

I'm as shocked as anyone, but yesterday's tragedy of a leaking slave cylinder turned out to be no real big deal. I made some phone calls & found one in Winston Salem (about an hour away) AND... my local parts store had one in their warehouse: "Give me yer credit card number & I'll have it here by noon" said Floyd. HELL YES! I got it after lunch, installed it in the afternoon, bled it before dinner & loaded the truck last night.

This is the 2nd Lemons race we've run the BMW 320i, so Jay (Lemons Head Perpetrator...yes, that's what he calls himself!) gave us a residual value of $425...giving us $75 to play with. As it turned out, we spent $9.95 on a quart of Bars Leak for the engine and $35.99 for a rebuilt slave cylinder. Heck, we've still got money left in the budget!

We'll be at Carolina Motorsports Park this afternoon for tech & registration, then take the green flag in the morning. If you'd like to come cheer us on... Wait, who am I kidding? Despite that, if you'd like to come, check out www.CarolinaMotorsportsPark.com for directions. No open alcohol while cars are on track (Yes, I have to post that for my friends!). This isn't a "free" spectator event so be ready to pony up a few bucks at the gate.

BIG thanks to...

* MSMAutos.com for stocking so many things for such a crappy car
* RaceKeeper.com for spotting us a camera system to memorialize our mess forever
* Safety Solutions (SafetySolutionsRacing.com) for the Hutchens Hybrid that keeps my neck safe in an otherwise totally unsafe car.
* Roger Sigears, who despite the car's crappy unsafe-ness (is that a word?), built a great cage for us to keep us in the seat
* Craigslist, Grassroots Motorsports, Wives, Girlfriends, Families & Co-workers who've put up with our crap up to this point.

Fingers crossed...here we go!

Nooooooooooo... You f'ing German POS!!!

A day & a half before the 24 Hours of Lemons, my 27 year old BMW's slave cylinder has died. Uuuggghhhh!

With less than a week...

We're buttoning up the final items with the car. This weekend we got the fuel tank re-installed after a thorough cleaning. Here's hoping that fixes the fuel issues we had in the Spring. The big trouble we have is that there's nowhere to test the car; last time we tried that (in the industrial park at the end of my neighborhood) I got pulled over! I still have to swap out a fuel filter which will be delivered on Tuesday. Oil is changed with some leftover stuff from the shop (shhhh, don't tell them!) and then to mount up some used (but cheap!) tires from a Legends Car and we'll be set for Friday's trip to the track.

The best news: we FINALLY got the driver lineup finalized! My buddy Chuck is already going to be at the track with another team & is going to become the 4th Hammer's Heroe. He's a great guy, a damn good driver & can fix stuff when we break it. How do I know we'll break stuff? Ummm, have you paid ANY attention to us? I thought so.

We'd love to have you at the track with us for the race, drop a line & make plans to be with us then!

Hey, you've got a warm body? Sweet, we need it!

Well, our 4th driver just backed out on us...we need you!

We're going to have a team of 4 drivers, probably wind up with about 3.5 hours of seat time over the course of the 2 days. Cost: $300 plus the split on fuel/tires (maybe another $75-100). We're running a pretty decent '83 BMW 320is.

We race September 12-13, tech is 9/11 afternoon & we'd need you there for registration.

I'm asking several folks trying to get any interest...I know it's last minute, but the offer is out there for the first person interested!

Hammer's Heroes Have Gas...

...but the car doesn't at this point. Ed, Jim & I spend the afternoon wrangling the fuel tanks out of the car on Sunday.

If you recall from our Spring race, we had a lot of coughing & sputtering & what felt like fuel starvation (even though it was essentially full)...or a clogged fuel filter (even though we'd changed it twice) or... We really weren't sure what was causing the issue but a look into the tank showed 27 years of corrosion and gunk getting sucked up by the fuel pump.

So, yesterday we took the tanks out & are having the main side cleaned & treated by a shop. We're only going to use the right side tank when we reinstall; first off, that tank still holds all the fuel we need and the weight savings is at least 15 pounds of hard gear plus the weight of the fuel we carried, but didn't need.

Should be a good move & we're excited to get the tank back & reinstalled in a couple weeks!